Ugh. Practice Patience

You know, patience is the hardest thing to teach a kid.  No matter what you're doing (or, I should say, TRYING to do), they want to interrupt and get you to do what they want you to do for them NOW.  Did I mention that they can't wait a few minutes?  Did I mention that they seem unable to observe that someone else is busy and to understand that it doesn't matter how many times they say your name (or title), it doesn't change the fact that the adult *STILL* has only two hands?

The thought that "if you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you've always gotten" is surely lost on those with the mentality of a child.  That must be the difference between an actual adult and a child.

A Daphne Funny

The other day, Daphne was on the phone with her Papa.  Apperantly, she didn't hear what he said the first time around, so she asked him to, "Run that over me again!"

Flushed away for the night...

Well, they're tucked into bed an hour early tonight. Why's that? Rudeness, inconsideration for others, and completely ignoring adults. It's hard for me to be around kids in the first place, let alone *average* children! Ugh!

I find that I look at what they're doing and how they're easily able to push my buttons and it's always got something to do with disrespect, inconsideration, and/or disregard of an adult's words. There's a theme here. I'm the adult. It's my job to figure out what that theme is and get to the root of it, isn't it? So far, I'm just treating the symptoms.

I used to say that dogs are so much easier - and they are, with potty training, but with the rest of it, I gotta say, it's same-same.

Rant: Ready to flush them today

I was soooo ready to flush them earlier today. What do I mean by that? Well, it means that I was ready for them and I to be separated. They whined, they complained, they begged, they blah, blah, blah, and I was just getting more upset every time they did it. There was just nothing they could do nor that I could do that was right today.

So, I'm ready to flush them.

Of course, I'm also ready to flush their Nana. You know, so there's no "favorites." lol. She pushes just too hard when she's got some project on her mind. After all these years with her, it still upsets me that she can't work for 2 hours and set it aside, then come back the next day and work for 2 more. When she works, it's an all day event with no end in sight. When she works, she sees the project done and the next one already beginning, so she sets us all up for failure with it. And me? I can't seem to get her to listen to me say "no more" unless I'm angry. I hate doing that - there's got to be a better way!

I'm *very* glad that it's bed time now.

::sighs::

Hopefully, we'll all find it restive and it will bring us all back to center so tomorrow will be better than it was today.

Even an ice cream, bubble gum, tater tots, and part of my huckleberry milkshake wasn't good enough for Dv today. He just wanted more, more, more. And he was so embarassing at the store. I wish I could've just slunk off into a hole. He was being such a codependent-I-can't-do-anything-for-myself LOUD brat today. Ugh.

There has to be a better way to get them trained! Of course, if they're not getting consistant training, it's all useless anyway. I hate that.

So, whine, whine, whine, blah, blah, blah. I want a cookie. I want a party. I want I want I want.

Well.

I want to go to bed and not see anyone but dogs for the next 8-10 hours.

Think I need a day off? You're probably right.

Squawking like a "nightengale chicken"

You know the story of the Princess and the Pea, right? We saw the "real" story last night, though, in a play presented by local actors and actresses. Interesting stuff! It turns out that the princess was the 13th in a long line of princesses and the "nightengale" sounded more like a chicken. AND the chicken laid an egg! The basics were there, but not that nightengale chicken. No, not that.

After the play, the Dv and I were walking to the van. I started tickling him and he practically sang, "Noooo, Stooop Iiiiit!" It sounded just like the chicken from the play. Caaaaw Caaaaaw Caaaaaw... We all had a great laugh out of that - even Dv when he remembered that it's ok to laugh at yourself, too.

We started the afternoon off with a lovely tea. Nana laid it all out pretty on the deck, though we both forgot the Creme' Caramel Tazo that we were waiting to share until we were already drinking a Honey Rooibus (say: "roy-bus"). We found some delightful tarts at Freddie's though, with strawberries, blackberries, and blueberries piled high, covered with that delightfully sugary red strawberry flavored glaze. Around the bottom of the tart were 1/3 chocolate chips, 1/3 chocolate shavings, and 1/3 almonds. Where Dv completely agrees with me that nuts shouldn't be sweet, D rather enjoyed hers until she got hold of just the glaze. D doesn't like just the glaze. Nana and I thought that quite odd, considering what it tastes like to our "taste bugs."

Afterward, we started getting ready for the play. Dinner first - but Yenna stole half of Daphne's dinner, as she left it unattended. Dogs will be dogs! So, we got to have croissants with cream cheese - yummm!

We didn't get home until 10:30 and I wouldn't be up so dang early, if not for yesterday being the veggie day for the dogs and they wanted their meat meal NOW. lol. So, I'm up waiting for them to finish that so I can go back to bed.

I have no idea what we have planned for today, but there's lots of stuff to do to get ready for our Halloween party yet. And today is supposed to be a nice toasty warm day. Perhaps we'll take our pups and go find an empty field to run in, then settle down for a nice luncheon. Maybe Dv can take some of his airplanes and fly them about.

Think the huckleberries are ready for picking right now?

Read me a make-up story?

D and Dv asked me to "read them a make-up story" last night. What's that, you ask? Let me tell you!! A make-up story is something that you make up on the spot from your imagination. They always want us (Nana and I) to "read" them one, though, rather than tell them one. :)

This is the story I told them last night:


Once there was a woman who lived in a huge, huge house. The house had three stories and a full basement! She lived there all by herself. Well, almost all by herself. She shared her house with four dogs. One of the dogs was a big, big, big - nearly as tall as she was - big Yenna dog. The dog was three times as tall as our Yenna dog! So, if you stand Yenna on top of Yenna on top of Yenna, then you'd have the height of the woman's dog. She also had a very very very small dog, just one inch tall! Then she had two other normal sized dogs who lived with her, too.

The littlest dog always stayed nested just above the woman's hair barette, right on the top of her head! That way, the woman knew that the littlest dog was safe.

The woman didn't like people very much, and she really, really didn't like kids. She didn't want any visitors and she didn't want anyone to know about the big, big dog, nor the tiny, tiny dog, so she just never left the house. She didn't want the big, big dog to go outside at all, so she set aside the whole basement just for the big, big dog's poo yard. Every morning, she'd get up and go down to the basement, get out her really big wheel barrow and really big shovel and start cleaning up the mess. Then she'd take it outside, before anyone was awake in her little town, and dump it all into the dumpster.

One day, there came a knock on the door. And the dogs all mffed and barked and yapped and WOOFed at the noise, as it was a very unusual noise that the dogs were completely unaccustomed to. And who do you think was there, trying to visit the woman who didn't like house guests?

Yup. You guessed it. Children. Two of them! One boy and one girl, standing just outside the glass door. She could see that they had a note with them from the woman's brother. The woman opened the door - quite reluctantly - and asked them what they wanted.

The children knew that their Aunt didn't like children and were absolutely terrified of going to live with her for even a short while! The girl handed the note to her Aunt and waited.

The Aunt read:
Dear Sister,
These are my most beloved children, Hancel and Gretle. I have to go out of the country on business. As you have no phone and I know you will enjoy my children as much as I do, and come to love them as your own, I am confident that you will take them in and care for them while I'm away.
I believe I'll be away for thirty days. My phone number is 951.357.8246. Please call if you have any problems!
Love,
Your Brother.

"Hancel and Gretle, huh? Well, my little brother always did love that story. It figures he'd name his kids after that story. And I see he still can't spell." She peered at the two children. They tried very hard to look obedient and respectful, but they each had chocolate ice cream rings around their mouths and, because of that, they appeared very much like every other child in the world. "Very well. You may stay, but before you do anything else, you go straight to the bathroom and clean those filthy faces of yours!"

The kids looked bewildered at each other, then they saw the ring around the other one's mouth and were horrified! They did an aweful job of presenting themselves. But, she was going to let them stay, so maybe all was not lost.

The Auntie never told them where a bathroom was in that enormous house, so they started opening doors to find the bathroom. They did it very quietly, but that didn't go well for them. When the Auntie saw them "snooping around in her stuff" she got very angry with them. "There will be no snooping around in my stuff," she exclaimed sternly, "Everyone knows that the logical thing to do is to follow the plumbing and you can plainly see where the kitchen is. All water in a house follows a wet wall." She took a breath at the blank expressions on their faces, and asked, "Didn't anyone ever teach you the basics of life?"

They shook their heads no, knowing that it was probably the wrong thing to do, but it was always best to be truthful.

The Auntie's eyes got big and wide behind her glasses, with absolute shock. "WHAT? My brother hasn't taught you basics? Well. We'll just see about that. You two. Get into the bathroom and clean up. NOW."

When they returned to the kitchen area, the Auntie had three piles of books for each of them, piled clear to the ceiling, waiting for them. "If no one else will teach you, then you will learn everything while you're here!" She paused to see if they argued. It wouldn't go well for them if they did. She waited a moment longer, and, hearing no argument at all, she continued, "You will read all of these books during the time you're here. Sit. Here's the first one. The topic is plumbing."

The two kids obediently sat and read the boring books, careful to pay attention to details. They would occassionally glance over at their Auntie, to see if she was watching them closely still. She was. Finally, when it was almost two in the morning, the Auntie yawned. "I'm going to bed. You two need to get through at least one more chapter each before you go to bed." The Auntie was so tired that she forgot to tell them where "bed" was.

They finished their chapters, and each read one more chapter, and were so engrossed in their reading that they completely missed the big, big, big dog go down to the basement. But they didn't miss the nasty, aweful poo smell that wafted up from the basement!

"EWW! What's that smell? It's terrible!" They exclaimed to each other, as they plugged their noses. They went to investigate, reluctantly sniffing the air to locate the stench. They followed the steps down to the basement and saw the biggest pile of poo they had ever seen in their lives. The poo pile was as big as the Gretle! And the sink was just horrendously miserably terrible!

Hancel and Gretle looked at each other and they made a face at each other. YUCK! They wondered why their pristine snooty Aunt would allow such a thing to happen in her house. Then, a moment of inspiration came upon them. If they cleaned up the mess for the Auntie, she'd probably like them much better. They looked around and saw the big big wheel barrow and the big big shovel and got to work. Neither one of them could take it outside, especially since it wasn't allowed by their Auntie, so they cleaned it up as best they could. They were so tired though, that when they sat down to take a break, they fell fast asleep in the dirt of the basement.

The Auntie awoke much later than she normally did. She yawned and got up, then went downstairs to the basement to start cleaning up after her big, big, big dog. Instead, she saw all the poo already in the wheel barrow and her niece and nephew laying in the dirt, fast asleep. Her heart softened when she saw what they had done for her and she went over to gently wake them up.

They were both an absolute mess, with dog poo all over their clothes. They stunk something aweful and, after she awoke them, she sent them into a couple of bathrooms, each with great big tubs. She filled the tubs with the perfect temperature of water and put lots of bubble bath in, then sent them to get in.

While they were bathing, their Auntie decided to make sure their bedrooms were ready for them, with the most soft, cuddly, snuggly blankets and pillows they had ever slept with. Each got a wonderful lushously plush cuddly critter to snuggle with while they slept.

After they bathed, she made sure they had a lovely hot meal and a cream puff for dessert, then sent them off to bed to dream sweet dreams. The Auntie came to love Hancel and Gretle as much as she loved her dogs. From that day forward, she always invited the kids over for the summer break to visit.

Flying Teeth, Maccaroni, & EarWax

Tonight, Dv decided it was time to pull out the loose tooth he'd been harboring. It was a front bottom one on the left. :) We talked about putting a string on the tooth and attaching it to the door, then slamming the door. I'm not sure if he thought that this was too commonplace, or just what, but he decided he wanted something little more exciting. What could be more exciting then the old string on the tooth and slamming the door trick?

Well. He decided to attach the string to a ball, then the string to his tooth. But that's not all. Then he went to the top of the steps and Nana threw the ball down the steps! The first time, it didn't work. The string came off his tooth!

Then, after MUCH convincing and cajoling, they tried it again with smashing success! The tooth went flying one direction (no one saw which way, though!) and the ball went bounce bounce bounce down the steps, only to run into the wall at the bottom of the steps! Then, after the ball hit and things quieted down, Dv let out a HUGE wail of a wail and squealed at the site of the blood on his hand after he checked the new hole in his mouth.

Nana took him to the bathroom and had him rinse and spit, then rinse and spit with salt water. Of course, all of the commotion afterward, was so loud and went on for so long, that when they went back to look for the tooth, no one could find it. All I can say is, it's a good thing that the tooth fairy gives extra special bonuses for being brave - even if you can't find the lost tooth.

After that big episode, we're having macaroni and ear wax with a side of squish and squash for dinner. And, of course, we added a sprinkling of mummy dust to the squish and squash, so it tastes GREAT. :)

Stay tuned for more living in 2D!